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As an artist I strive to represent motherhood in all it’s forms.  Stillbirth, miscarriage, and infant death are realities that are not talked about in our culture yet are expressions of motherhood, parenthood, in every sense.  This piece was done to honor that brief yet profound experience of love and loss.

A huge thank you to my dear friends Darjee and Josh Sahala who allowed me to use their birth photos of Brona, born still May 18, 2008.  To watch a video of Brona’s birth and death please visit their website here.

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I am writing you because I wanted to say thank you.

Two years ago this year, on December 15th, I lost my first child in labor. He was born silent, wonderful, and beautiful. Our family was totally broken. We had tried very hard to conceive our baby boy, and things turned south during a typical at home labor. As someone who advocates for women to be treated and fight for their rights in a hospital, the experience there was a nightmare.

I later got terribly sick with a bowl obstruction due to a mishap of the c-section I was given at the hospital, and ended up having a second surgery on Christmas of 2013 and stayed the new year in the hospital. We came home empty, alone, and my body in a place I never anticipated it to be.

Someone had bought me a mandala of your art piece of the parents holding their spirit baby. I was so touched that someone acknowledged that babies leave us too soon. It is such a profound piece, and in many ways it reflects the exact look of our family during that time. Our son is always with us, but gone forever too. It’s a strange flux to be in, even two years later.

I didn’t allow my son’s death to confine me into a small space. I participated in the Honest Body Project, and spoke about my loss. When I saw that you shared it on your page I felt so happy and proud that you always acknowledge those loss moms.

And so I wanted to say thank you. Thank you for being there for me in ways that you didn’t even know you were. Thank you for standing for moms like me and helping those who don’t have a voice to talk about their silent babies. Thank you for showing that not all moms are quiet, that we roar our baby’s name, and we are proud of the mom’s they have made us become.

Thank you.

~Geralynn